I should get elected just so I can deliver the joke at the end of this post!

No subheading here, because my inclination toward any given topic isn't really enough to justify coming up with a semi-witty remark about it, only to veer off track within the space of a paragraph or so. How 'bout them apples?

Speaking of Apple?

Actually, Steve Jobs seems to have been quiet of late.

Speaking of late, Arthur C Clarke

Unfortunately, neither magic nor sufficiently advanced technology was on hand to save him. Anyone get a tissue sample? I mean it! Overlooking the questions of nurture vs nature, and the fact that there's no way to salvage the original consciousness of the man, SOME part of the man deserves a place on Mars, in space, somewhere. In the meantime, I hope they buried him in a 1x4x9 black stone coffin. That would be EPIC!

Speaking of Epic, a lot of PC gamers were distraught at the notion that the Unreal engine is now being iterated with each new generation of consoles. What else are they supposed to do? Consoles don't get any better over their lifetimes in terms of hardware, and it would be economic suicide to screw over a large demographic by releasing a new engine they can't use for another three years. Also, the cycle is a decent fit for PC, because note that just recently have U-engine-3 capable computers come into the proper midrange price range. What SHOULD be bothering people are gameplay concessions to the consoles. So in a few years we MIGHT be complaining that UE3 is starting to show its age, suppose by then even entry-level PCs are capable of playing games based on said. That's a clear win for PC gaming, even if the elite doesn't see it that way. Besides, just 'cause cryengine 2 is PC-exclusive didn't seem to help Crysis...Bioshock (dumbed down from it's parent though it was) was still the better game!

Speaking of Bioshock, check out this article on a presentation by Ken Levine about the process of creating the story. What always gets me when I read about game development are the outtakes. It isn't the same as watching DVD outtakes, where you can see where the scene failed, and the lack of polish doesn't help either. No, it's a window into the brainstorming process from whence sprang the game you have come to love, and the lack of polish helps these raw ideas shine. You generally don't get to play outtakes, so you don't get the same understanding of why certain elements failed to entertain, so in the end you're left with what still sounds like a really good idea, one that should have been in the game. I think Bioshock might have been improved by the inclusion of some pre-and during-civil war gameplay, although fitting that into the experience of a SPOILER ALERT amnesiac genetically-modified mind-controlled assassin-baby SPOILER OVER who was never likely a member of Rapturian society would have been a monumental challenge. Perhaps as a more intense form of the "genetic memories" which in Bioshock manifest as ghosts? For more examples of this sort of thing, see Half-Life 2: Raising the Bar, and for that matter probably any decently thorough book or PDF or what-have-you chronicling game development.

Speaking of development, I had to do a presentation on a paper I wrote about Edward Abbey (a noted opponent of development in his beloved American Southwest) in my first-year seminar today. A funny thing I noticed, and I can't tell which side this is evidence for, but in the novel I am reading - Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars - the position of those opposed to Terraforming is a very close match to the terrestrial philosophies of Abbey himself, and yet I have not seen any acknowledgment of Abbey in the novel or dedication or anywhere. Given the effects Abbey has had on people, notably EarthFirst!, or any of his biographers, or for that matter probably anyone who met him, it seems likely his influence would be noted. I suppose I should be happy, because I am arguing a position against his having fundamentally changed understandings of the environment (He affected people, no doubt, and he was an environmentalist, but he wasn't bringing anything new to the table, he was a King Ludd for '60's America, is effectively my argument).

Speaking of arguments...actually, I haven't really participated in any good ones lately, for that matter, I haven't overheard any either. Used to be that I'd overhear neat conversations on almost any given OC transpo bus

Speaking of buses, would the suburbs and rural communities PLEASE stop their bloody pissing and moaning about the transit service (or lack thereof)? We should not be giving incentives for people to splay bits of our city all about the countryside and pollute, pollute, pollute their way to work every damn morning of every day! With the stain of our childish and often tedious federal politics upon us, perhaps Ottawa will never actually be considered a "fun" city, but the least we can do is make it less unpleasant for ourselves. We need architects who understand aesthetics, for one, and we need city planners who make plans with nary a mention of the words "growth", "suburbia", and "strip mall"! Also, we need pride that isn't wounded by the likes of Winnipeg cockwagging at us about how theirs is longer. Unfortunately, we bought into the phallic hype of our own lengthy skateway, and cannot hide behind witty retorts such as - and this would have been a good comeback as a newspaper headline, I think - "Everyone Knows Girth Matters More!". At the very least we should take some proper revenge on whatever bitch MP decided it was worth bragging about the Winnipeg skateway in the Fucking House of Commons. Seriously, what the hell?

Ottawans, you know what to do, but seriously stay away from physical violence, and other similarly overt tactics. Write your MP, and see if he or she would be interested in dissing Winnipeg in question period, or something. Be creative in your suggestions. Better still, see if they'd be interested in dissing HER for it. Off the top of my head, I think you could go somewhere with some inverse-Freudian humour about "Canal envy". Ours gave birth to a town, theirs is rough and frigid. ZING!

LOUD!

Sorry about the Road-Raging Pirate Trivia Team Attack...I Blame it on Chernobyl!

Apologies to My Readership

...If you still exist, somewhere out there...

It has been roughly a month since my last post, and although this is not the first time I have gone so long without posting here, this time stands out for one simple reason: things happened. A LOT of things happened, and I haven't been able to eke out enough time to do any of them justice, at least not until now. I should be able to have nigh-on-daily posts, depending upon how I divide up the information to be presented. I apologize if these narratives end up a little disjointed: the passage of time, and the desire to type at the speed of thought can have such an effect upon my writing. I think that's all, so HERE WE GO!

Civic Pride

Heh, that's actually a clever title, because it has a dual-meaning for me right now. First, I did indeed promise to write up a little something about the flak directed at Ottawa (now VERY old news, sadly), and Second, I am indeed very proud of the Civic which I presently drive. I'll write about 'em in that order...

I should hope that by now most of the Ottawans reading this are aware that our city was not so long ago lambasted for sqandering its greatest assets, and other conduct not fitting of a “world-class capital”. Readers of the Citizen will have noticed the great number of pundits both attacking and defending decisions, people, and organizations which have shaped our home for better and for worse. It has just occured to me that the whole fiasco has provided a number of people with a soapbox from which they can push their own “city improvement” plan, from light rail redux to community gardens. The bottom line is that this city is, on average, average. It sounds inane, but if you look at the best of anything in Ottawa (ie. Comfy seats on the O-train), and then pit it against the downside (ie. Nowhere to go on the O-train), the result is decidedly average. The issue shouldn't be “is merely average OK?”, but instead “do we care if we remain so?”. Personally, I've been known to accept mediocrity, however I'm not one who enjoys it greatly. Ottawans, I ask you: is the effort of changing a greater burden than the tolerance of averageness? If not, then we do indeed have our work cut out for us.

One of the first things that ought to be done – in my opinion – if we are to raise ourseves steadily and triumphantly from the mire of the mundane is to undo the bone-headed decisions of Ottawa past. There is a former railway station in THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN, and yet it is now a conference centre. Thankfully, a recent proposal did indeed include the re-instatement of that building as a transit hub. Sadly, the proposal is alleged (by a Citizen columnist, if I recall correctly) to be a shoddy affair indeed; a vaguely-budgeted mish-mash of self-service by the committee members. I'm not even sure how to address this, because it does not stand to reason that the capital city of such a proud country would allow itself to be abused by its own government. It might not be so bad if the complainers were fully competent, but the columnist who so savaged the poor proposal defended instead the North-South rail line. Points for “we could be building one now”, but remind me again why we ought to do such a thing if the urban spread in Ottawa is predominantly EAST-WEST!?! It can be called “rapid” if it is fast, but to affix the name “transit” to an end product, someone has to ride it!

I've read snippets here and there about transit in Ottawa: stories about our high downtown parking fees, opinion pieces about how great or terrible it was that the rail line got cancelled, letters arguing either side... I think it's safe to say that this city can't and won't make up its mind about what will best serve our needs. This would be fine, if we were an ordinary city of ~1 million. It wouldn't matter in the slightest that we couldn't get around: it would be our own fault, and that would be that. One problem is that we aren't just any city. Another is that we cannot swallow our pride and admit that we are wanting as a city. We defend tooth-and-nail our “good”, our “solid”, our “quite decent”, for no other reason than it belongs to us (see: the “Montreal Food Snob Incident”). I doubt I'll stay to find out if that pride can be swallowed; even if public opinion could be changed, I imagine the entrenched bureaucracy would not be unseated by anything short of a full-scale revolution. Hmmm, maybe I'm on to something with that...?

Commentors, I'd like to know what you think would be effective as a solution to Ottawa's transit issues. Personally, I think that the top 3 steps would be (least important is 3, most is 1):

3) PLAN AHEAD, and PLAN SMART. The trains(?) SHOULD NOT be waking people up at unholy hours, etc.

2) Don't use track because it is there, use it if and when it makes sense. Duh.

1) Build the city UP or DOWN, instead of OUT!

Ok, this is just one little bit, more is on the way!

-LOUD!

Ok, time for the first (of many, with any luck) updates to this post. It's rather unfortunate that it has taken me so long to get around to this, because much of what I will end up writing would have been current and topical if it had been posted when the words were fresh in my head. Instead, I'm left typing up thoughts which have long passed their "best before" dates. Eh, those things are just for planned obsolescence, anyhow.

I saw Pirates of The Carribean 3: At World's End at Silvercity's advance screening, the Thursday night before I left for the Reach for the Top national championships (which get a write-up later, fear not). Somewhere, I have the beginnings of a review, which I started writing on the flight to Calgary, but since it isn't getting later any slower, I'll have to rely on memory.

I'm going to assume that anyone who would care enough to read a review of PotC 3 has already seen it by now, and I shouldn't have to tell you just how epic it is. To be on the safe side, however, I will give those readers who have not seen the movie yet something of an idea:

PoTC 3 is PRETTY DAMNED EPIC

Are we good? OK!

Most everything which is good about the film is more or less related to the above: PotC 3 starts by pulling out a few stops here and there, and then proceeds to pull just about every single one you can imagine (and some you can't) before it ends. And Cap'n Jack wonders why the Rum is all gone? Come to think of it, PotC has come full-circle: the first was a movie inspired by a theme park ride, and now the (hopefully) final installment is a film rather evocative of a thrill-ride experience.

You might be wondering why I hope that PotC 3 is the final movie in the series, when it is so good? The most compelling reason is that the ending of this particular volume needs no extension; the stories that we, the audience, need to see...we have seen. Leave the remainder of their lives' exploits to imagination, and resist the temptation to ruin the franchise by allowing it to become more of a cash cow than it already is. Of course, this is Disney I am talking about, the same people who brought you Cinderella 3: A twist in HOLY FUCK WHO GAVE THESE DIPSHITS THE IDEA THAT TIME TRAVEL AND A WATERED DOWN VERSION OF A BROTHERS GRIMM STORY WOULD MIX WELL?!?! I may not have seen Cinderella 3 - as this would validate its existence, and I cannot bring myself to do that - but it has all the hallmarks of a cash cow.

I should attempt to remain on-topic, for fear of this post devolving into the sort of stream-of-consciousness ranting which so characterizes my "conversational" speech (some would argue and substitute "monologue" for conversation). Back to what is good about Pirates 3. I enjoy how plot threads are tied up, and yet the ending is left open. While it does leave room for the sequel I so dread, it is such a good ending, because the characters you've grown to love don't end: they continue on forever through good and evil, with the imagination left to decide in what proportions. This being said, I think that the mark was sorely missed on a few counts in the movie. Nothing which detracts from the viewing experience, but as I reflected upon the movie in writing my initial (lost) review, careful thought brought these minor flaws to light.

The first of these is that for a movie about Pirates, there is very little piracy. There IS plenty of betrayal - the likes of which would make Judas cringe - which allows the filmmakers to continually raise the stakes by having alliances shift on the fly. With a running length such as it has, the movie desperately needs these shifts to keep the audience from settling in too much. It remains a mark of shame upon the series, still, that there has been only one scene in which a pirate crew loots, pillages, and burns (all the way back in Pirates 1) for the acquisition of booty. Even then, their true cause was to retrieve Elizabeth's piece of cursed Aztec Gold, with the Piracy thrown in for good measure. It would be excusable if Pirates 3 focused solely on the established characters, who are generally preoccupied with supernatural matters more than financial gain...but Pirates 3 goes so far as to introduce NINE Pirate LORDS, a keeper of the code (Keith Richards FTW!), AND a Pirate KING! Their bickering and general narcissism goes a long way towards creating a piratey atmosphere, but it's something of a letdown that they are never seen pillaging. I suppose I shouldn't complain, given that such scenes are unnecessary in such a long movie, but [HIGHLIGHT FOR SPOILER] the fact that they're not even heavily involved in the final epic battle [/SPOILER] is just TRAGIC!

The second minor flaw in the movie was that it required perhaps one too many suspensions of disbelief, and yes, I mean past the obvious ones, such as the existence of supernatural creatures, etc. I mean Jack Sparrow's impeccable use of the laws of physics to move, fight, and do Important Heroic Things in the movie. The writers redeem themselves a bit by poking fun at his apparent ability to escape any conundrum in spectacular fashion ("Do you think he has it all planned out, or does he just make it up as he goes along?", I think the line goes), but it's placed just a little too early, long before some of the good Cap'n's most outlandish moves are seen. All these stunts work when you're watching the movie, but they don't really hold up afterwards.

My overall recommendation is that you see Pirates 3, because it's far better than 2, and because you will just be blown out of the water (Harr Harr) by it.

And now, if I may be partisan, it would be nice if Science Fiction could get a few epic film treatments, now that the fantasy genre has seen more than its fair share of the action (LOTR, Pirates, Narnia, Golden Compass). And no, I don't think the new 'Transformers' movie is going to herald anything big on this front. A proper (read: NON Sci-Fi channel) treatment of Philip Jose Farmer's 'Riverworld' series would be a good place to start, for many reasons. The basic premise is that in the far future, unknown Aliens have sculpted a planet into one single flowing river (it coils from one pole to the other, I believe)...and proceeded to re-create every single human being who ever lived to over the age of 5 (with their memories at their time of death) in a permanently 25-year-old body. It's a FANTASTIC concept, and the books (I have read 1 and 2. I should eventually read the third and fourth, but the former hasn't "caught" yet) do it more than justice. While I don't suppose the books are too well-known, I think the premise could be mass-market-friendly; as Farmer wrote in an aside, everyone reading the books is SOMEWHERE in the cannon, just waiting to discover their own story. While it would be impossible to deliver on that promise in film, the potential for cameos is impressive, to say the least.

Speaking of novels with titles starting with "Ri" and ending in "world", Larry Niven's 'Ringworld' would also make a pretty kickass movie. Kzin for the Win!

I'd like to be excited about Star Trek XI, which will eventually "beam down" to theatres, but..ehhh. Nemesis was hyped up, and most people found it generally disappointing. To be honest, I didn't hate it; I was young enough to enjoy it when I saw it. I may...ok, who am I kidding, I will go see it when it comes out, but it's just not weighing heavily on my mind at the moment.

Children of Men was a spectacular movie (I'll post a review in an upcoming post, or tack it on to this one in an edit), which I urge people to see. If you want me to decide which is better between CoM and PotC 3, I'd give you the "apples to oranges" speech, and then tell you that either will give you goosebumps-a-plenty. In the end, I have to recommend CoM, though. The after-pirates experience is by no means bereft of conversational topics, but the intellectual landscape of the discussion is a salt flat to CoM's Himalayas. I'll save detailed praise for the review, so suffice it to say that CoM is a masterwork.

PS. Points to CoM for featuring the impeccable Chiwetel Ejiofor

Looking ahead at the next few weeks, there is also "Sunshine", which could have been good...but a while back I read a New Scientist opinion piece on how poorly the science in that movie had been treated. I think I'm turned off of this one, although I might end up seeing it anyways.

Who in the hell thinks that even a nuke the size of Manhattan would have the slightest hope of re-igniting the fucking SUN!?!? I think that film schools should start mandating that students take some basic science courses!

The Rant Came Back!

What Will It Cost Me....

To have safe streets?

To have proper urban design?

To have rapid transit which deserves the name?

This is what the people of Ottawa should be asking, before they go on record as saying that the cost of not having a car is “too high”. Now, I enjoy driving with my G1, but I also make extensive use of the bus system here, and with the exception of a few routes (true Ottawans will no doubt cringe at the mere mention of the infamous Route 14), the service is very good. I agree that past a certain hour, it can be pretty intimidating to wait around at even well-lit Transitway stops (and I'm a guy, no less), but this can most often be attributed to my healthy paranoia, rather than the presence of an actual threat. According to the Ottawa Police, the 5 year average for violent crime is just under 6000 incidences per year. Greater Ottawa having a population of 1 million means that the number of violent crimes per person is 0.006. Meaningless statistic? This I will concede. Still, I think it's fair to say that the average Ottawan is not in imminent danger of being beaten or killed on the street. The fear of kidnappings, swarmings, rape? Media-induced. These things do happen, but as with acts of terror, you cannot allow the worst elements of society to paralyze you in your daily life.

I think there exists a solution, one that will cost perhaps more time than money. The Guardian Angels are supposedly starting up a chapter in Ottawa this year. I think it will be great for Ottawa, because it's an agressive response, without the agression per se. It is advance, rather than retreat. It is an assertion that we have a right to walk on our streets at any time we like without fear. Call it vigilante justice if you want, but for all the hot air about “if it saves one life, it's worth it”, you'd think that the police forces of the world would see the Guardians for what they represent: a powerful ally in fighting crime. It stands to reason that much crime is based on the assertion that “they can't see me”. The presence of a man or woman in uniform patrolling the street might be enough to dissuade the less pathologically criminal from nocturnal banditry. And if not, someone is there to see, to call the police, perhaps intervene before the situation escalates. Unlike hiding inside the tonne of steel and rubber we like to think of as “convenience”, this goes some length to solving the problem. The letter-writer to the citizen is a father who obviously cares for the safety of his children. A man (or woman) of such a disposition should be one of the first in line to volunteer when the call comes from our new Guardian Angels chapter. I'll bet that all the training, uniform costs, and all are still cheaper than buying gas for a car to feel safe!

The second part of the solution is far costlier, at least for the moment. Ritzy, SUPREMELY convenient condos are coming to downtown Ottawa...and a penthouse can be yours for something like a cool $Million. Damn, if I had the money, I'd do it too. The ones at 700 Sussex are quite literally at the heart of this city. Hopefully, like other fads of the rich have done in the past, living downtown will trickle down to those with less money to burn. Failing that, I hope I can be rich long enough to set myself up in a swank pad somewhere downtown. Yeah, that's going to happen. The problem is the allure of cheap housing elsewhere. I imagine that it is far more profitable to buy land in fallowfield, or worse, along one of the regional highways out of town (this happens, and it's pathetic to see the malaise of suburbia rising above the distant plains). The houses I see are obscenely large (to be fair, one might consider my present abode to be gluttonous. I would tend to agree), usually having attached garages for two cars...well, a car, and all the workshop junk that invariably clogs sheds, garages, and basements. So long as young couples decide that an affordable house and an SUV is worth what they pay in gas and maintenance, things will not change, and there will be those who will see the SUV or sedan as obligatory. Well, if you live a half-hour from the edge of what actually constitutes Ottawa, no shit! This would be bad enough of itself, but as (bad) luck would have it, there's more fuel on this fire: have you seen how they build these houses? Plywood, plaster, and then some hasty brick-like exterior. Some new houses went up not too far from here, and the complete illusion is staggering. It looks as if there is a real house, probably even feels like it, too. But take away the brick facade, and what you're left with is a wooden box and the ubiquitous pink panther insulation, near as I can tell. At least my house has been standing for 50 years or more. Houses in the glebe, and other neighbourhoods just outside of downtown must have houses approaching 100 years old. I know Mutchmor school has been around for a century or more by now...it's not so much of a stretch to imagine that some houses must be of a similar vintage. Somehow, I see the future of modern housing looking more like scrap heaps than quaint neighbourhoods. On an “up” note, there may be an alternative to both expensive yet chic condos and crappy housing: The nascent “eco-community” (well, as-yet-nonexistent would be more like it) at the former rockliffe base site. The plans may be just that, but I can't think of a better way to reconcile a pleasant lifestyle with ecological responsibility.

One other argument which pops up in the letter upon which this rant is loosely based is that giving up a car means giving up activities (ie. Horseback riding, sailing) which require frequent commutes to outlying areas of the city. Supposing a resurgence of central urban population, it is easy to imagine rapid transit to distant parts of the city. With reduced automotive traffic, street-level light rail becomes a real possibility, and - more importantly – actually useful. Before someone points out that the relatively low numbers of hobbyists hardly justify transit expenditures and emissions, imagine this: central living = less $$$ on Gas and Car repair + less transit time = more free time and money = more time for hobbies.

None of this will happen overnight. In all likelihood, no one will become all that richer financially. What will be regained is community. People without lawns and fences to separate themselves, people who live and work, and relax together. Grocery stores not a two-minute jaunt from your appartment building door, other shopping another five minutes away...Eventually, space once used for inefficient housing could become parkland, or maybe return to it's original purpose as farmland. Add the odd urban garden, and you've got a solid local food supply. Ok, this is total utopian BS at this point, but it's something to aim for. Even half of the above would be damn fine in my book. It's easy to start...repeat after me: “I do not need a car all the time. Walking, biking, and bussing are safe alternatives 99% of the time. Sustainable living is not only possible, but desirable. I bow before the staggering wit and insight of Loud the Magnificent”...

Did it work? No?

Nuts.

I Am Not A Number, I Am A Free Man!

Guess who just took the cSAT?

The Cotton Gin? What the hell-ass crunk juice are YOU sippin'?

Anyhow, the SATs are not half as frightening as the literature would have you believe. Perhaps that's easy to say when my academic future does not entirely hinge upon nearly four hours of test...but really. I cannot (under obligation) release specific question details, but let me lay it out for you: 9 out of 10 “math” questions are pure logic, and your biggest foe on the reading comprehension segments is the wording of some possible answers. In fact, I found myself answering the question “what do THEY want here?” more than “what IS here?” when considering my answers to many a question. I was writing a meta-exam, or something! I finished a good number of the sections with time to spare. Should any readers be taking the SATs in future, and find themselves doing the same, I offer the following advice: Use the 4-2-4 breathing meditation technique. Being rather untrained, I really can't seek nirvana, nor anything remotely along that path. What I can do is at least breathe calmly, and keep my mind clear. Anyhow, my swordhandling instructor taught it to my class thus: Breathe in for a count of 4 (4 seconds works nicely). Hold for 2. Breathe out another 4. Repeat. Usually, concentrating on keeping the rhythm is enough to keep my mind from going too far astray, but it helps to try and clear your mind. Eyes closed when you are meditating, and I recall that your head should be bowed. Ideally, you should be in a proper position, but I had to make do sitting in a chair. Anyhow, I hope this helps...incidentally, the same breathing technique may have helped me get to sleep on occasion.

Back to the test itself, I am going to be worried for ages now. A friend of mine scored very well on SATs last year, and as much as I should only worry about doing well for myself, I know in my heart of hearts that I will feel hopelessly inadequate should none of my scores enter the realm of 'phenomenal'. My future may not rest on the scores I receive, but my pride will. I realize that this is a __________ position, but it is human nature to abandon the way of _____ in matters of 'honour'

A. terrible, generousity

B. hypocritical, medecine

C. foolhardy, reason

C. morose, spirituality

D. stupid, science

E. onion, rings

Speaking Of "Matters of Honour"...

Honour Killings. I *could* have another SAT joke, but all I can think of is a nice list of disparaging adjectives, with "All of the above" at the very bottom. Every so often, there will be another story about a nice girl, who has the *nerve* to have a (gasp!) platonic male friend, or maybe a boyfriend of a different race, or maybe one from a family which originates from across some forbidden line in the sand back home. For whatever reason, some nutjob father, brother, uncle, aunt, grandmother (I think it's happened) will either pay for or commit her murder. But you're read the stories, you know this. You know that the barbarism has to stop, and it has to stop NOW.

This is just another way in which multicultural society is often abused. The murder to which Saturday's Citizen editorial referred to was in Jordan, but there have been so-called "honour killings" in the West as well. In countries where these foul deeds are accepted, only massive cultural reform can help. But here, there can be progress. The message has to be sent that coming to Canada does not have to mean the loss of your cultural identity, but at the same time presents the end of your hatred. It's a fine line, but it can be drawn fairly, I believe. Art, music, stories, literature, cuisine, dance, language, clothing...these are all positive cultural elements that add to the richness of our country. Hate, vengeance, prejudice...however deep-seated they may be cannot be allowed to enter our country with immigrants. These can be separated from the components of the first list (albeit with great effort). This is not to say that immigrant populations are the only ones with work to do. One look at David Warren's unmasked avarice and it is clear that every single one of us could stand to leave our hateful baggage behind.

$3000 of Gyro-Stabilized...Foot Replacement?

Sadly, I do not own a Segway. What I do possess, however, is what some might call an uncanny ability to create the topic-shifting sort of Segway in today's post. Dear readers, look upon the cost of hateful baggage:

"I've come to realize that the past year may simply be a phase induced by stress and curiosity."

I will not tarry long on the source of this quote. The important knowledge for you is that this is the doing of HORRID parents. The recipient is a dear friend of mine (no, not the "friend" who gets viruses on "their" computer while surfing porn. This is, in fact, a friend of mine we are talking about here).

I can imagine how awful I would feel, had Star's parents (or my own) found our courtship dissatisfactory. Not so much now, given that it is 3 AM, but I know it's bad enough when we have our own problems, so parental intervention could only ever be worse. What would really drive the blade into the wound would be an obviously forced email, detailing how our "explorations" or "flirtations" were meaningless in any grand sense. Suppose, through repetition, and sheer force of volume, that such a message became ingrained belief (How terribly Orwellian). How could we ever face each other again, after being broken in the deepest and most humiliating way? Parents who perform, attempt, much less consider this kind of torture, after years of supporting a child are the worst of scum. If their love proved so ephemeral in a delicate time, they should never have pretended to love at all. They should have simply said "you receive sustenance at our pleasure" each night, before school, at sports games...never "I love you". The more I think about it, the more I am disgusted that parents could ever hate their children. I have never been the best child, but my parents have weathered the worst I have to dish out, and still their wind is in my sails...should the parents responsible for the bold quotes ever read this, I can say only this: my parents managed with a slacker/gifted/picky eater/ADHD kid, and a perfectionist with severe Allergies. What's your excuse for not being able to handle a simple confession of Love?

Bizarre Juxtaposition (what else did you expect?)

It's been 4 – 3 fairly awesome days, and one Monday since my last post.

You know Mondays...

Highlights of the Weekend:

“We Live In A Spaceship, Dear”

Remember when I said that a friend of mine was planning to run a Firefly RPG campaign? Who am I kidding? Of course you don't, but that's ok. Well, I got just that happening on Saturday, and I'm craving more sessions. I am the mechanic on our party's salvage ship (yes, we are avoiding lameness and NOT RP-ing the BDHs). It's too soon to say how well the RPG will capture the feel of the show, and the 'Verse in general, but it IS fun, and that's the important thing.

Sadly, the rulebook does not include the Blue Hand Group for use. Probably for the best, as they would be impossible to defeat. Still, why you would make an RPG and not include the baddest motherf*ckers in series cannon is beyond me. Oh, man, they would be fun to LARP: you wear those blue non-latex gloves, and a suit. You'd need an awful lot of fake blood or something...

On another Firefly note, the series will apparently be available in 1080i resolution. If it is worth such attention, you would damn well think it worth more funding. I am well aware that it is WORLDS less expensive to throw us browncoats an HD bone than to give Joss funding for more TV, but I would contend that – through its initial cancellation – the show may have more awareness than it did.

Snappy dialogue is IN, witness the popularity of House.

Gritty Sci-Fi is IN, Battlestar Galactica is proof enough.

Funny Sci-Fi is IN, people seem to be watching the new Doctor Who series.

Serenity was a great movie, IMO. I have my issues, but on its own it was solid.

Firefly was all of these things and more. Why not give it another chance?

My Sunday could not have been more different.

Spinning In His Grave

I'm taking ballroom dancing lessons, and I think I might enjoy them. I was volunteered for an event, which is called (I believe) the Viennese Winter Ball. Benefits other than learning to dance: 20 hours of community service, and maybe meet interesting and/or important people at the event. I'm a little intimidated, but I know not to forget that it is an opportunity to enjoy myself. Dance is, after all, a form of entertainment older than civilization.

Around the time of the first lesson, I wondered how this whole thing meshed with my values. I wondered if it wasn't a sort of selling out, as it were. Ballroom dancing is rather conservative, steeped in rules and tradition. I've never been the best at playing by rules. I have no idea what to think at the moment: does this make me a poseur-leftist? Should I be taking up activism instead? Maybe this is too much about image. I wish I weren't, but I'm horribly self-conscious about my “image”. I'm not even sure I have one, but I can't shake the feeling that what people think of me matters. It's not hubris, I'm just not assertive enough to do what I want without fear of being ridiculed for it...but more on that note in a second.

I have to say, the girls who are auditioning (there would be some guys cut, but the requisite number showed up, no more) are beautiful. Not strictly in the physical sense; they seem like confident, competent women. Maybe the dance floor lends anyone with a little courage that distinction, but that in no way detracts from their own qualities. I'll post some general thoughts once I know the other dancers more. This Sunday was day 1 for me, so there's not a lot else to say. I'll keep you, dear readers (all 4 of you!) up to date, of course.

“Some Chicken...” (Apologies to Winston Churchill)

To say that I am a vocal person is, as you know, a gross understatement. As I say in the sidebar, I try to be OK on the whole. So why was I afraid to stand up and be counted today? There is at my school, a Gay-Straight Student Alliance. I think I owe it to myself and others to let it be known that I am ga – just kidding. As a straight dude who has no problem with homosexuality, I should have gone to show my support. There are too many people who wouldn't, perhaps affraid of the association. I think I let everyone down by allowing my misapprehension to get the better of me. I did later find out that it would be worthwhile to have gone if I “had wanted to hear lesbians talk”. I'm rather distraught that few-to-no guys were there. The right to freely choose one's sexual orientation is a human right. Ever heard that everyone should be a feminist, because it means that you believe in equality? Same principal. Unless you are some kinda Nazi, you should support people's sexual freedom. It's not about endorsing one orientation or another: it's about endorsing the freedom to choose.

New Mayor

Ottawa does indeed have a new Mayor: Larry O' Brien

I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm thinking about Transit. The O train was expensive, and kinda useless. Maybe I was expecting some glorious straight-out-of-Sci-Fi supertrain, but I thought it was dissapointing. It was a bunch of diesel motors on a set of tracks, and it didn't go all that fast. A subway, a monorail, or a real train somewhere would have been great options...maybe. In Europe, trains go all over. They make all kinds of sense, because cities are close together, and population density is high. Ottawa is a different story

We COULD have had real transportation in Ottawa...except we paved it over years ago. There was a rail station VERY near downtown, which would have been great. Now we are stuck with either old, intact rail (the current, kinda useless system), or building over the streets. Monorail and subway start to look very good right about now. To be frank, Ottawa is not big, or dense enough to have a viable system. I've been to Tokyo, and the trains there are wonderful. They may be crowded, but you can get to all the important places. In Ottawa, you might as well bus and walk. Which brings me to my next point: traffic congestion. O'Brien wants to get rid of it. Buzzzzzzzt! Wrong! It should be as MISERABLE as can be to drive a car anywhere near downtown. Give busses every advantage, and drive people to use transit instead of individual vehicles. Paris, with narrow streets, and awful traffic: great walking city. The reason OC Transpo is so subsidized here is because people can drive cars here still. If Ottawa wants to grow (another dumb plan), we should learn sooner rather than later that if it is pleasant to drive a car downtown, things will suck.

If Ottawa had to have a rail system, I think the optimum solution would be to connect the suburbs to downtown via point-to-point trains, and then run a monorail or subway loop to all the major attractions/areas in downtown.

At least we're not stuck with the Chiarelli Train.

Good luck to the new Mayor; may he treat our city well.

Now With 20% More ______!

Indeed there have been some changes here. I'm working with the Beta now, after I saw the new features employed on Gold's blog. I'm looking into what I can add to the page now, so there may be further changes.

Ok, I'm a half-hour behind on getting off the computer. There were some more things I wanted to post, so I'll type them up in my room, and USB key 'em down tomorrow. The Environment is on my mind, along with the usual random junk.

The Jester's bag of tricks is never empty

Goodnight