Thursday, August 16, 2007

I cannot for the life of me think up an original joke about Italy...

So It's Directly to Business for Me!

This is my 101st post, and incidentally one of my very few (2, tops) POSTS FROM OVERSEAS!


So, after a remarkably fast Un-Jetlagging period (we were on our feet and touring Arezzo the day after we arrived), My family, my aunt & uncle (maternal), their three kids, Star, and I began our Tour of Tuscany. From our Home base/ swank villa, we visited Arezzo, Firenze (Florence, as it is Anglicized), Siena, Gubbio, Monteriggioni, and Pisa. Star and I are currently staying with her uncle in Rome, and will continue to do so until Saturday morning, when my family, Star, and I depart from Rome's Leonardo da Vinci aeroport on the morning of this Saturday. Naturally, I will go into far more detail about my exploits in Italy upon my return, but for now I have to say that I am pleased with my progress...except for my goal of standing on each and every one of the seven hills of Rome. That one would be a lot easier if the maps told a tourist where more than one was located!

On a sad note, I shall not be allowed to purchase fine Italian wine at the duty-free at Rome's aeroport, because I shall have to pass through security a second time in Amsterdam, before boarding a flight for Montreal. I can't have any liquids because, you know, I can totally turn wine into C-fucking-4 ON BOARD AN ALREADY SECURE PLANE. Yep, can totally do that. It's a great party trick of mine, you know. When voicing this frustration at dinner tonight, I was most impolitely ''informed'' that it is a ''logical'' move on the part of the management of Schipol (I think that's how you spell it) aeroport (Amsterdam's) to ensure the safety of all passengers. Which would be true, if I had not already been cleared in Italy. I was under the assumption that one of the perks of the EU's existence was that travel could be facilitated...which I would expect to include a harmonization of aeroport security practices. For Fuck's sake, they use essentially the same machines here as in every other country I have EVER BEEN TO (and this is not a particularly small number, mind you). But no; to ''prevent another 9/11'' - as my condescending roommates agreed - totally and completely justifies an unnecessary redundancy in security. No receipts, no written documents signed by the duty-free staff, not even a fucking notarized document written to bear witness to the fact that I'm just trying to bring my friends a little alcoholic piece of Italy will suffice in that never ending crusade against rights and freedoms which we call ''The War on Terror''. The supreme irony of this is that one of my two current roommates in Rome has published a delightful book which deals with the new culture of suspicion, largely in what I would call critical terms. Granted, the individual stories were from a number of contributors, but this person has his name on the cover.How can one publish a book questioning a culture which encourages us to look upon our fellow men and women as suspects turn around and tell me that the aeroport officials in Amsterdam have every right to suspect me of being a terrorist...after I have already been deemed not so to the satisfaction of another similarly developed country? HOW?

Star is outside this internet point, and is giving me ''the look''. Time to go, I guess.

Goodnight, and Flying Spaghetti Monster Bless,



Zyzzyva said...

Hey, yeah, airport security sucks. I've been through Schipol (or whatver) too (on my trip to Denmark 2 years ago) and the interal security sucks. So we have to make a transfer in about 1 hour, OK? You'd think that would be easy, considering the gates were about 200m apart, bu in between these two gates -inside the secured airport zone, mind you- is another security barrier. With, because of it's position where half of the freaking airport has to go through it, took us th better part of 45 min to get though.

Airport security sucks. Schipol sucks absolutely.

Star said...

I think the point he was trying to make was that you could switch bottles once you got to the airport, as there are many lockers and the like in between the point where you get off the plane, and when you go through amsterdams security. If you got off in a secure area ie. after security where you board your next plane it would not make any sense.

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